Thursday, April 15, 2010

Loose Tooth

My six-year-old recently lost his first tooth. It was a big deal, mainly because we've been waiting over two months for this tooth to come out. It finally got to the point where it was so crooked that a huge gap opened up right next to it. And, it was so wacky looking that my husband and I couldn't stop talking about the bit that Dane Cook does about teeth (I'm the crazy yellow tooth that looks like corn!)  People kept coming up to him and exclaiming, "Ooh! Did you lose a tooth!?" to which he had no answer.  He couldn't figure out why they would be asking him that when it seemed pretty obvious to him that all his teeth were present and accounted for.

Sunday night, two weeks ago, Lucas lay in bed wiggling his tooth and accidentally got it twisted to the point that it was now highly uncomfortable. He came out into the living room looking a little scared and nervous, and my husband jumped up to help him.

I have discovered something about myself through this phase of my son's development . . . I have a weird aversion to teeth.  I had no idea that teeth bothered me so much.  A person's teeth are always the first thing that I notice when I meet someone.  I also have repeated nightmares about my own teeth falling out (a Google search proves I'm not the only crazy one out there).  I guess it shouldn't have come as a surprise to me that the idea of my baby's teeth coming out would be a horribly disgusting affair for me.  Seeing him sit on the couch wiggling away at that thing just made me shudder and say, "Ugh."  And when it got really loose and starting making that weird sucking noise?  Well, I had to leave the room.  There was no mistake about which parent would be the one to pull it out because I just couldn't handle it.

I remained in the living room as my husband pulled and yanked and pinched and twisted.  All the while Lucas kept making these very odd little noises.  Something like a cross between a concerned moan and the weird squeak that toads make when you pick them up.  No, that's not quite it.  I couldn't decide whether he was in pain or scared or just jacked up on some kind of little kid high like mixing adrenaline and copious amounts of pixie sticks.  Okay, so it was the sound of excited fear . . . Yay! My tooth is finally coming out vs. Oh no!  My tooth is finally coming out!  I eventually went into the bathroom to check on him.  He seemed okay, just a little nervous and very excited, as I said, and he kept emitting those weird sounds. I got one quick glance at the tooth and had to exit the room, pronto.

What a celebration when it finally came out!  My husband got it all cleaned up and we (well, they) examined it closely.  Then we stuck it in the Twinkle Toof box that Lucas got last Christmas.  This is a great little box for kids.  It's shaped like a tooth and inside is a special compartment for the tooth and a clip to place the tooth record card that comes with it.  Did I mention that it also glows in the dark?  Well it does!  In addition, it is Tooth Fairy approved and you can tell because it has the "authentic" Golden Tooth Fairy Seal on the back.  Pretty cool, right?  I know you want one.  (Lucas likes to point out that the Twinkle Toof is not the same size as an actual toof, uh, I mean, tooth.)

Anyway, now that my son has lost his first tooth, he's apparently opened the flood gate for the rest of his teeth.  Already the tooth next to the recently lost one is also ridiculously loose and hanging at a very precarious angle.  Unfortunately, that means that sometimes when he closes his mouth, the newly loose tooth hangs out making him look suspiciously like Nanny McPhee.  I think it's hilarious . . . he is not amused.

I was telling my sister the story of Lucas's first tooth coming out and naturally we discussed what kind of monetary value the Tooth Fairy places on teeth now days.  I told her that Lucas received $1.00, which I believe is pretty average, though the price does seem to fluctuate from $1.00 to around $3.00.  Lucas likes to tell everyone that when his daddy was little he only got a quarter for his teeth.  I told my sister that I remember that for one tooth I got a bunch of loose change like Tooth Fairy had cleaned out her pocket book, and my sister said, "No, she probably cleaned out the ash tray in her car."  Hmm, yeah, that seems more likely.

Of course when my husband heard the conversation between my sister and I, he had to tell me that his niece recently received $5.00 for one tooth.  That seems outlandish to me.  We then began joking back and forth about what said niece can expect for her next tooth.  My husband talked in a girly voice reminiscent to something that would seem appropriate on The Kids in the Hall.

My husband (in his girly voice):  "I got an iPod for my tooth!" then, "I got an Xbox, I got a car!"
Me:  "I got a house!  I got a yacht!  I got my own island!"
My husband:  "I was really hoping I'd get an island.  Then I got an island and I was like, Whew!  I'm glad I got an island!"

Okay, okay, I know.  You really had to have been there and know what our personalities are like, but let's just say that we kind of think that $5.00 is on the excessive end and we know that it's not really as much as what some kids get.  That's the reality.  However, our kid can hold his breath until he is blue in the face, but there is no way that Tooth Fairy is forking over twenty bucks for a tooth in this house.  Maybe next time he'll just get some loose change from the ashtray in Tooth Fairy's car.  You know, and that's if he's lucky.


  1. Losing a tooth for kids is totally a big deal for them, since it is a badge of honor for them, showing that they are in the process of growing up. I was also amused about your conversation between you and your sister, and I think that five dollars is enough for Lucas as a reward from the tooth fairy.